Aphorisms
♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last
year. Not to cause any trouble….but shouldn’t that be an even number?
♦ I find it ironic that the colours red, white and
blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you.
♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their
body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you
ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
♦ America is a country which produces citizens who
will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote.
♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when
you love someone? That’s common sense leaving your body
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with
vengeance. We’ll see about that!
♦ I think my neighbour is stalking me as she’s been
Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
♦ Money talks … but all mine ever says is good-bye.
♦ You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see.
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive,
try missing a couple of payments.
♦ I always wondered what the job application is
like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far
away from your house you can go in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.
Now,
don’t you feel better knowing what an aphorism is.